


Finding The Way Home

by Pfle



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Comfort/Angst, F/M, Modern AU, mental health, more characters to come out as chapters come out
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-09
Updated: 2019-12-06
Packaged: 2020-11-28 03:44:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20959910
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pfle/pseuds/Pfle
Summary: Byleth urges an ill Dimitri to stay with her, after she mysteriously left 5 years ago. A chance reunion, and now it's time to rebuild those lost years.





	1. Reunion

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is includes a modern explanation to Dimitri's hallucination, as well as the growth and struggle of recovery. I do not intend on romanticizing mental illness.

Street lights hummed loudly along the sidewalk. Hues of purple masked the sky, golden clouds threatened to start the day. It’s a frosty morning, he rubbed his hands and breathed into them, licking his chapped lips. He then stuffed his hands in his hoodie’s pocket. He picked up his pace.

He glanced around at his destination. No one was around. Pulling himself up over the locked gate, he stared down at the treasure he was seeking. 

He was dizzy with pleasure.

Or perhaps dehydration.

Dimitri tried opening the lid, before noticing it was locked. He sat on the fence pulling at the lock hoping someone had forgotten to scramble the code. With a few tugs and a touch of luck, he managed to open the lock. He scanned his surroundings one more time before opening the lid and pulling out the first bag.

It was a black bag. It might’ve been heavy to someone smaller than him, but he smirked.

Voices. He looked around quickly, swatting at the air to try to rid himself of it. He heaved the bag over his shoulder. His chest heaved, rapidly taking in breaths.

He hopped down the fence with his treasure. He looked up at the tall building in front of him.

A little community college in the city he once called home. It would have never been his school. He was going to go to a real school. Was.

He frowned and started carrying the bag over his shoulder as he began walking.

“Hey!”

He froze, the voice was familiar. Not the one who hissed in his ear. A voice he hadn’t heard in 5 years.

“Dimitri?”

He couldn’t face her. He hoisted the bag over his shoulder again and kept walking.

She started walking after him, trying to pass him to get a good look at him. He faced her with the side with his eye patch.

She stared at him for a long time. She had to be a delusion. When he looked back she had to be gone. Sunlight pressed against her in warm glow.

“Do you... want a hot meal?” She asked softly.

“No.” He said pushing past her. Voices hissed.  _ “She knows. She knows  _ ** _everything _ ** _ Dimitri. She hates you. She abandoned you completely when everyone was following you.. She’s with them,” _

“Do you need help?” She asked, following him.

_ “While you were screaming in your bedroom, she was selling your secrets to Edelgard.” _

He grunted, now he knew she was real. “What must I do to get rid of you?” 

“A lot has happened in the last five years. Ingrid told me how you went missing during finals.” She said.

He looked down at her. She still had her pistachio colored hair dyed like the last day he saw her.

“Why are you here? Coming here when I’m here. You’re following me again,” He said.

Byleth had a peculiar look on her face.

“I...” She paused, picking her words carefully. “Let me buy you a hot meal, and we can talk,”

“Who are you going to sell my secrets to this time? Edelgard? The Government?” He glared while asking.

She breathed out. He could see how warm her breath was.

“I am the king of the holy kingdom of Faerghus. Anything you tell Edelgard will go for a nice price, won’t it?”

He walked past her, feeling his head scream and ache. Dizziness overwhelmed him. He struggled to make it to his car. He lost his vision, falling forward.

  
  


Next thing he knew, he heard voices again. He shifted, trying his best to move. He opened his eye to peer around. His body ached as he slowly tried sitting up. Slow and agonizing, his grunts silenced the voices around him.

“Dimitri, you’re awake,” Byleth stated, coming over to him.

Looking over he could see an IV inserted into his arm.

Glaring his voice was dark, “Get this thing out of me,”

Footsteps moved over to Dimitri. A nurse. Mercedes.

“Well, well, it’s so good to see you again Dimitri,” She said with a smile.

He turned away from her.

“We ran some tests and you’re just suffering from some dehydration,” She said.

Byleth sat on the chair near his bed.

“You’re not going to let me go,” He growled in a whisper.

“We just want to make sure you’re healthy,” Mercedes said. She put her hands in the pocket of her scrubs. She pulled out her phone.

He didn’t trust her. He couldn’t trust anyone.

“Dedue says he’ll be here in 5 hours,” She said looking over her phone.

His eye widen.

She stood nearby. “We all were worried about you,”

Byleth folded her fingers together, pressing against her lips, brow furrowed. It was a foriegn look to both of them.

He breathed out, with a scowl. 

“I don’t have time to sit here, I have important duties to attend to,”

Byleth looked up to Mercedes. Mercedes passed her sad look.

“Don’t sit there and pity me,”

Byleth finally spoke up, “Do.. you want help?”

“Help?” He scoffed. “Help is not something I, Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd, need. I must take back my country from the clutches of Edelgard,”

Mercedes turned away to get another doctor.

  
  


“However if you care to off yourself to me, I will use you and wear you down, inch by inch, until my goal is complete,”

Byleth sat there, head down, unmoving. She eventually moved and put her hands on his closest hand.

“I’m going to help you Dimitri,” She said.

He couldn’t bring himself to feel anything.

Eventually Mercedes brought in another doctor.

“Hello Dimitri, I’m a doctor here, and we would you to stay longer,”

“Why would I?”

“You are suffering from mental illness,” He spoke softly and as non threatening as possible. “Your friends here brought it to our attention that you seem to be suffering from some delusions. We want to just do some testing while you’re here for dehydration,”

He scowled at Byleth and Mercedes,

“What is the meaning of this?” He growled.

Mercedes looked worried. Byleth hadn’t moved her head from the downward position. He pulled his hand away, her hands curled into her palm.

He started to struggle, glaring at the painful iv in his arm.

The doctor put his arms up to try to calm him down.

He instead lashed out at him, taking the stand with him as a lance. Byleth jumped up, Mercedes froze.

More nurses came in to restrain him, until he was outnumbered. He felt a painful shock in his system as one of the nurses clung to him. He pushed them off and heaved a strained breath. He let out a mighty roar.

He took a heavy step forward. He swayed a bit, panting. He looked up through the strands of hair.

Quickly the injection worked through his body, a poison.

It’s an assassination.

His muscles heaved. He fell to his knee, panting, clinging to his lance.

He slumped deeper.

The knights moved in.

His eye grew heavy, he slurred a final cry.

In war, he would’ve died a pitiful death. 

No one would be proud of him.


	2. Overwhelmed

When he woke again, he was groggy. He couldn’t really move, squinting at the restraints holding him to the bed. He tried to process what he was staring out. His eye then moved to the couch where Byleth was sleeping in the moonlight. Jacket as a blanket. He flopped his head back into the pillow.

The voices crept in, like shadows of a beast whose tendreles were creeping out from under the bed.

_ “It’s your fault you were caught,”  _ His friend told him.

_ “Pathetic,”  _ His stepmother told him.

_ “You’ve let me down, Dimitri,”  _ His father told him.

Their words snaked around his neck, holding tight until he struggled to breathe.

_ “Bring us her head, and all will be forgiven,” _

_ “We love you more than any of these traitors. Where were they? We’ve been here the whole time,” _

_ “It’s her fault, you’re not here with me,” _

They hissed, he coughed, gasping for air. Their voices melted and formed again, creating a monster python, coiling tighter on him. Tears streaked down, sputtering for forgiveness.

“--tri,” 

“Dimitri,” Byleth’s voice cut through the noise briefly.

He opened his eye.

Byleth was leaning over slightly, hand too timid to touch his face.

She looked worried.

“Do you need water? Something?” She asked.

“Is there anything around my neck?” He asked, voice feeling strained.

She hesitated, then fingers gently grazed his chin as she moved his face closer to examine his neck. “You’re fine,” She said. The tips of her fingers were warm and fading.

He grew silent for a bit, before looking up at her. “Can you grab me water?”

Byleth got up and got a waxed lined cup from the bathroom and began filling it in the sink.

She returned with the water. She stood there for a few seconds before realizing that she had to bring the cup to his lips. He leaned forward drinking deeply.

Once the cup was empty, she pulled the cup away.

He breathed quietly.

“How are you feeling?” She asked.

He did not answer for a long time. “Tired,” He finally says. 

His eye hung heavily. He still felt the weight of the drugs that was given to him. Drowsiness loomed over him like a thick lead jacket.

His eye slowly relaxed shut, watching Byleth fading behind the darkness.

When he opened his eye again, it was bright. He wanted to shield his eye from the light. Dimitri kept his face away from the light until he woke up a little more.

He rolled his head over to the couch where Byleth was there before.

She was gone.

He closed his eye, tiredly. He was alone. It would always be this way.

Time began to slip away in his loneliness.

A squeak of shoes on the tile, jolted him back to awareness.

He turned to see Byleth coming back into the room, a bag in her hand.

“Oh.. You’re awake,” She came closer and set the bag down on the couch she had slept on before. “I wanted to get back before you woke up,”

He gave a quiet grunt.

“I had to go to the financial office at the school,” She said. “I also grabbed you some clothes,”

She stood up, as tall as she could. “I’m going to try to go to school and do work again,”

He looked away.

Then she approached him calmly. Voice soft and soothing. Secretive. “If anyone asks, I told them that we are married. Husband and wife,”

He turned to her, surprised. Why would she possibly say that?

“I did not want you to wake up alone, so I told the doctors we’re married,”

His cheeks turned a soft pink.

“Wait, what? Why?” He asked.

“Waking up alone, in a foriegn place must be horrifying,” She said. He watched Byleth’s head move downward. “I’m sorry I was not here when you woke,”

Dimitri shook off the feeling she placed onto him with her sweet words. He snarled, “I don’t need your sympathies. Waste those delusional benevolence on someone who wants to hear it,”

She grew quiet.

A new doctor entered. Different than the day before.

“Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd?” He asked.

“Yes,”

“Okay, so after reviewing the paperwork, we have decided that you will be discharged today... I’ve discussed it with your wife, about the medication you’ll be taking.”

Home.

Wife.

He lingered on his words a bit longer. It was overwhelming.

Home.

Wife.

His stomach felt a mix of sour.

The next hour or so blurred into streaks of unfathomable boredom, with a settled stomach. Dimitri was just going to leave the medication he had been given to Byleth and return to the life before. He had to fight the normalities of reality and become who he was meant to be, a king taking down a tyrant who ruined his life. He had a goal and the medication was going to distract him from that.

He was looking out the window of the car as Byleth drove him to her place. He was dressed in an orange and black flannel and pants that had smears of white paint dotted on it.

He drummed his fingers impatiently on his knee.

_ ‘Where did she even get these clothes?’  _ He asked himself. 

It smelled of whisky.

_ ‘Perhaps her boyfriend,’  _

“We’re here,” Byleth said pulling into a numbered parking space.

_ ‘No, no. If she has a boyfriend why would she bring me here. Could it be a very understanding boyfriend? An ex boyfriend? Why would she still have his clothes then?’ _

Dimitri got out the car,slamming the door shut.

“S-6,” She said, pointing upwards before going in the trunk and pulling out a box. Up a flight of stairs marked her apartment.

Dimitri knew he wasn’t staying long, He watched her struggling with the trunk and the box.

“Tch,” Dimitri ripped the box from her hands and closed the lid. He handed the box back to her. 

“I’m going now,” He said, he started walking away from her and the building.

Byleth set the box down at the first step.

“Dimitri...”

He turned to glance at her.

“Do not look at me with such pity. I do not believe you and I have the same aligned goals,” he snarled.

The door of S-6 opened up, and there stood Dedue.

“Sir...” He said.

“Dedue... You’re here? Why?” Dimitri said, surprised.

“Sir, we can talk about this later. For now, let us get you inside,” He said.

Dimitri walked heavily towards the stairs. In utter disbelief, he was wide eyed. His steps were slow at first. Then he ran up, quick and ran into his arms.

There was a long warm hug between the two. He could feel that he was real. He patted his arms several times still making sure he would be there.

“Dedue....” He threatened a smile.

Then he turned to Byleth, holding a box against her hip.

“Dedue if you are real, tell me. Do you see her too?” He asked.

“I do see our old tutor, if that is what you are referring to,” He answered.

“I am real,” She said coming up behind them into her home.

“I am just making sure,” Dimitri said a tad defensively. “I have had a very long and tiring 5 years,”

Dedue walked him inside to a very bare apartment. The only thing that wasn’t a box was a bare mattress and a tv stand without a tv, knicknacks were placed however.

“I’ve prepared some food while you were away.” Dedue said walking him to the kitchen. Besides the bare essentials of a blank kitchen there was just a table and chairs. But the smell of a delicious meal filled the room, feeling cozier than it was. Dedue sat the plates down in front of chairs. Eggs, sausage, crisp potato hash, a biscuit, and a seasoned tomato. He felt his mouth drooling. 

He sat down at the table. With his fingers, he picked up a sausage biting into it, chewing loudly despite his mouth mostly closed. Grease gathering on his lips, he wiped it with his wrist. Picking up scrambled eggs and hash and piling it into his open mouth, stuffing his cheeks. He somehow was still breathing as he quickly changed from hash to chomping into more sausage, filling his mouth. Dipping his biscuit in the grease, he let it lace between his fingers and dribble down his chin.

Byleth and Dedue exchanged glances.

“Did they feed you in the hospital?” Dedue asked.

Dimitri looked up, lips extended, and cheeks filled. He swallowed hard.

“I refused to eat their food. Dedue, I can trust your cooking,” He answered.

“I see sir. Please... help yourself,” He turned to Byleth now. “As well as you should too,”

She shook her head, “I had something to eat already. I appreciate the offer however,”

He nodded.

Dimitri hadn’t noticed but Byleth had already put her box down.

“Thank you again Dedue for letting me borrow your car,” Byleth said.

He nodded softly, “Of course, I hadn’t realized your situation until we discussed it further,”

“What situation?” Dimitri asked, holding in a belch.

“I had left my car behind at the school,” She said. “I just moved back here, and needed financial aid. Dedue leant me his car this morning. He was here last night, but you were sleeping... And since I claimed to be your wife, I could stay. He stayed at my apartment while I could take his car,”

“Dedue, are you not living in the city anymore?” Dimitri asked.

He closed his eyes, “It has been complicated,” He started. He leaned against the counter. “I did not know about your disappearance until a week after. I was in my home country,

“I had informed you before that my sister got pregnant, while I was here. After high school I wanted to return home and help raise my nephew. Sylvain was the one who asked me if Bladdiyd was with me, to which I jumped into action. After a year, I ended up settling between my country and the city, so I could still look for you, but give my days to my family.”

He folded his greasy fingers together. “I see,”

Byleth moved, “I’m going to unpack some more,” She went out of the kitchen.

“Please. Allow me to move heavy boxes for you,” Dedue said following her.

Dimitri was alone in the kitchen. He got up and dumped his plate in the sink, only wiping his hands on his pants. He moved to the living room. The bare mattress sat near the tv stand. He got in closer, examining the things there. A plant, a vase, and a photo frame.

  
He picked up the frame and it shook him recognizing the person inside. He stared hard at his smile, hoping that his glare could pierce the glass. His stupid blue tux, a white rose pinned to his lapel, sitting with friends. It was the last time Dimitri smiled before it fell apart.


	3. Nightmare Under The Sea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Memories of the photo haunt Dimitri

They all met in the penthouse that was rented out by Felix’s dad. Dimitri paced in the boys’ room with butterflies in his stomach. He said that he just had a bunch of energy and was very excited but in truth he was nervous. Byleth said she might go to prom with them, but Dimitri was taking another girl as his date. Byleth was going as everyone’s date.

A knock on the door shook him up, awakening him from his distant thoughts.

Felix got up from typing his shoe to get the door.

Annette stood there told everyone that the girls are ready, briefly glanced at Dedue.

“Just another minute, please,” Dedue said as he showed Ashe how to tie his tie.

“Gotcha!” Annette said.

A lump in his throat caught his words before Dimitri could speak. Luckily Sylvain spoke up.

“Hey so has Byleth shown up yet?”

“Yeah! We’re just waiting on you guys before we put on our corsages.”

“Who’s going to put on hers?” Dimitri finally got out.

“Probably herself,” Annette shrugged.

Dimitri shifted, “I see.”

“By the way Dimitri, your date is here,” She teased a little.

If one could recall even what she looked like, Dimitri certainly couldn’t. Her name slipped his lips like an exhausted exhale. Nothing more than words and a face he never remembered.

When Ashe was ready, the boys finally filed out, reeking of cologne, nerves, and hormones.

“Gather up, pairs for pictures,” Rodregiue said with a camera in hand.

Felix took Annette by the arm, slipping on a blue rose corsage onto her wrist. His face blushed hard, standing in front of a picturesque background.

_ Snap! _

Ingrid took up Dorothea. Ingrid in a powder blue tux and Dorothea in bright red. Red roses matched her lapel and her date’s wrist.

Next went Dedue and Lorenz. Red roses decorated both of their lapels. Lorenz shined brightly in a purple combo tux and dress.

_ Snap! _

The girl at Dimitri’s arm tugged at him. “Dimitri, it’s our turn next,” she said

He put on a fake smile and slipped on a red carnation corsage on her wrist.

They stood in front of the idyllic backdrop. The flash still burns in Dimitri’s memories. 

When the blinding light fades back into a clear image, they are all in the limo. Sylvain has control of the party playlist. Everyone is cheering and singing along to the theme of the original digital pocket monster show most of them grew up with.

Dimitri carelessly mumbled the words along with the group, while the girl on his arm sang loud enough to cover his mistakes. His eyes grazed in slow motion over to Byleth, who watched over them.

He felt his ears redden.

She looked over at him, and smiled.

Mesmerizing.

A smile he could admire forever.

So he thought.

They were sitting at the table with the lights dancing around them.

Annette took photos of them smiling and posing. One that would haunt him years later.

All the flashes burned and he was standing in front of his date. A slow song played and he calmly held up her arms as they swayed.

His back bumped into another person. He turned to see Edelgard and her date.

“Sorry El,” He whispered to her.

“It’s fine,” She replied.

They danced away from each other.

Looking down at his date, he hadn’t noticed that Claude had swooped in to take Byleth to the dance floor.

“Boy, I’m not too used to dancing like this,” Claude chuckled. “I can see that neither are you,”

Dimitri glanced up, seeing Claude and Byleth embraced together in dance. Legs tangled in the wrong style, arms nowhere near the level of grace Dimitri could muster in one finger. What was Claude thinking by dancing like that...?

They looked like they actually having fun.

“Dimitri... My hand,” His date stuttered. “Dimitri, you’re hurting me,”

He let go. 

Never catching her expression. 

Never catching what she really looked like.

“I need to sit down,” He told her, pulling up to the nearest seat.

She walked over to him.

He looked past her, no longer seeing Byleth with Claude.

In fact he did not see Claude either.

His heart stopped. How long ago did they slip away from his sight?

Voices thumped to the beat of the loud music as he glanced around the room. His heart aching and overwhelmed with agony. Beating too fast for him. The room swirled around him pushing past others to the exit.

Only then did the hiss of strangers and friends and family stop, and he was alone with Byleth. Her eyes focused on the night sea, with the glow from the goddess lighthouse.

He walked over calmly. The ghosts’ hold broke in his memory. It’s the clearest thing he watched over, because it’s the worst thing he remembered.

“Dimitri... What are you doing here?”

“Aren’t you supposed to be dancing with Claude?”

“Ah, not anymore I suppose... I think he was just using me to distract from the fact I think he’s dumping laxatives in the punch bowl,” She answered.

He smiled a bit, leaning over the railing with her.

“You know, Edelgard taught me how to dance when we younger,” He started. He did not really where to go with this.

She pursed her lips. “She’s quite strict now, was she like that then too?”

“Of course she was,” Dimitri smiled. It was like he was watching himself from out of his body.

The glass cracked around his thumb.

**Stab her.**

**The knife.**

**Stab Edelgard.**

**Her fault.**

**Give her a knife.**

**It’s your destiny.**

**Cut her out.**

**She’s not the real Edelgard anymore.**

**She’s changed.**

**Kill the imposter.**

The hold the voices had closed around them both, getting tighter and tighter. He reached out to pull Byleth away but he was too far. He would let the memory of himself be swallowed up before letting the poison of the voices infect her.

“Do you ever think about making a wish, Dimitri?” He could no longer see her eyes as if someone scratched them out, but knew she was looking at the stars.

“It’s a bit silly.” He answered, the tendrils of poison grabbed his leg. Unmoving, unnoticing. Dimitri’s heart raced.

“You don’t believe?”

“I doubt there are many who believe wishes could be granted,” He said. “What do you say? Care to make a wish?”

“After you,”

_ A wish of my own? I suppose my wish would be... a world where no one is unfairly taken from us... Or something along those lines.  _ Is what he wished he said, gods did he wish he said that.

“At a time like this.. My wish is for you to come to university with me, so we could be together forever.”

The picture frame in his hand shattered as he held too tightly, shakingly violently.

Byleth stared at him. He could no longer make out the expression she made. 

He got scared.

“That was a pretty good joke, huh?”

Someone scribbled out her mouth as she replied in a muffled voice. 

He damned himself. The last words he ever said to her, and now... Now...

Now she was here. She had pried glass and shards of wood and managed to sit him down. He held his head together with the shit plastered against his hands.

Words escaped him. Someone offered him a glass and he smacked it away. Eyes wild. He had to get out. Springing up he ran for the door.

And out. Out and away. Far away. Far far away from the memories of who he once was.

**Author's Note:**

> If you have experience with living with schizophrenia or homelessness, and would like to help improve the authenticity of the fic, feel free to message me on my discord. Berrie#6639 . I wish to improve and if you would like to help, I will gladly accept.


End file.
